Parshas Vayeishev
By Rabbi Dovid Zauderer
The authority on erroneous and often humorous “redundancies” in speaking the English language is Richard Kallan, who collected more than a thousand specimens into a clever little book called Armed Gunmen, True Facts, and Other Ridiculous Nonsense(Pantheon, 2005).
Here are a few of his examples: "actual truth," "advance warning," "close proximity," "convicted felon," "deceptive lie," "exactly identical," "merge together," "negative stigma," "new innovation," "past history," "written document."
How about this redundancy?… “criminal lawyer” (just kidding!)
I even found a Biblical “redundancy” in this week’s Torah portion, Parshas Vayeishev:
The Torah tells us that Jacob’s sons were jealous of their brother Joseph and they threw him into a pit (kids, don’t try this at home) … “and the pit was empty, no water was in it” (see Genesis 37:24 and commentary of Rashi ibid.).
And now on to our main discussion … the seeming redundancy of “Dearly Beloved” (or in Hebrew: Rayim Ha’ahuvim). Allow me to explain:
One of the prominent features of any traditional Jewish wedding is the Sheva Berachos, (“Seven Blessings”) that are recited both under the Chuppah as well as after the Bircas HaMazon (Grace After Meals) at the end of the wedding meal.
In the sixth blessing of the Sheva Berachos that is recited under the Chuppah, we beseech G-d that He grant great joy to these Rayim Ha’ahuvim, “Dearly Beloved” …
Now, let’s see … isn’t “dearly beloved” a redundancy of sorts? I mean, can one be dearly hated or detestably beloved?? If you’re beloved, then you’re dearly beloved, and that’s that!
I would like to share with you two different interpretations of the Hebrew words Rayim Ha’ahuvim, and what we’re praying for in this Sheva Berachos.blessing.
HaChassid Yaavetz in his commentary on Ethics of the Fathers writes that these two words are really a single appellation, i.e., a person can be called a “beloved friend”. In this view, these two words are hardly redundant, because not all friends are truly beloved. Many friendly relationships are nothing more than a functional camaraderie in which each party has a personal vested interest. But once any of the partners no longer stands to gain from the relationship, the friendship of convenience often disintegrates. Of a different ilk is a friendship based on true love. Even when such friends suffer disappointments, the relationship survives the strain.
In this light, HaChassid Yaavetz interprets the phrase Rayim Ha’ahuvim to mean “the beloved friends”. A loving wife will continue to respect and love her husband even when financial pressures prevent him from providing for her needs and the needs of the household, and a loving husband will reciprocate even if household and emotional pressure interfere with his wife’s performance of her tasks. Not so when the marriage is merely a functional relationship. Then, the partners may feel justified in abandoning it if their needs are not being met.
Thus we wish a newly married couple that the love between them be deep and enduring, and that they remain “Beloved Friends” and loyal partners all their lives.
Rav Chaim of Volozhin in his commentary on Pirkei Avos offers a different explanation.
He writes that it is human nature that staying around someone else for too long will eventually cause the other person to hate him.
As King Solomon writes in Proverbs 25:17: “Let your feet be scarce in your fellow’s house, lest he be satiated with you and come to hate you.”
Or as we say in English: “Familiarity breeds contempt”
However, says Rav Chaim, this rule only applies to ‘regular friends’ whom we often get sick of after a while, but not to a husband and wife who are given a special blessing under the Chuppah that they should always be Rayim Ha’ahuvim, i.e. the more they stay together, the more they love each other!!
[Sources: Pirkei Avos Treasury by Artscroll Mesorah Publications]
http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=690