Parshas Pinchas (5779)
When counting the Jewish people (again) in this week’s Torah portion, Parshas Pinchas, the Torah lists Ozni as one of the sons of the Tribe of Gad (see Numbers 26:16). Rashi comments that Ozni in the verse is really Ezbon (a son of Gad mentioned in Genesis 46:16 who is not mentioned here. At the same time, Ozni is not mentioned in the verse in Genesis). Rashi adds that he doesn’t know why Ezbon’s name is switched over here to Ozni.
The Shelah HaKadosh ZTâ€L suggests that the two names of this son of the Tribe of Gad, Ozni and Ezbon, allude to that which we are taught in the Talmud in Kesubos 8a: Rabbi Elazar said: “Why are man’s fingers tapered like staves? … So that if one hears something inappropriate, he should place his finger in his earâ€. [The name Ozni is related to the Hebrew word ozen, “earâ€, while the name Ezbon is related to the Hebrew word etzba, “fingerâ€.]
This “strategy†of placing one’s finger in his ear to avoid hearing lashon hara (slander) and other inappropriate speech is very important for us to know and use – and especially during this time of year.
You see, we are presently in the period traditionally known as Bein HaMetzarim, (lit. “in narrow straits"), and sometimes referred to as "The Three Weeks". It started this past weekend on the Seventeenth day of the Hebrew month of Tammuz, and it ends on the saddest day in the Jewish calendar, Tishah B'Av, the Ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av (this year Tishah B’Av falls out on August 11th).
This three-week period is a time of national mourning for the Jewish people, as many terribly tragic events in our history occurred during this time. Moses broke the Ten Commandments on the Seventeenth of Tammuz; the walls of the city of Jerusalem were breached; both the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem were destroyed on Tishah B'Av (and all that remains of the Temple today is the Kosel HaMa'aravi - the “Western Wallâ€); the wicked king Apustomus burned the Holy Torah; the Expulsion from Spain was set for this time in 1492; and the list goes on and on. And, ultimately, our being exiled and dispersed among the nations only to be persecuted and tortured for the last 1900 years, is a direct result of the Romans destroying the Temple and expelling all the Jewish people from the Land of Israel during this period in the year 70 C.E.
Our Sages teach us in the Talmud in Yoma 9b that the primary cause of the destruction of the Second Temple on Tishah B’Av was due to the sinas chinam, or “baseless hatred†that many Jews had for each other. More specifically, explains the Chafetz Chaim, it was the lashon hara that the Jewish people spoke about one another as a result of their baseless hatred that was the real cause of the destruction.
And so there is no better time for us to work on improving ourselves in this area than now. And there is no better way to do that than to review some of the halachos (laws) of lashon hara.
The Chafetz Chaim (Laws of Lashon Hara 6:1-2) writes that just as one is biblically forbidden to speak lashon hara, he is also not allowed to believe lashon hara, or even to hear it without believing it.
This means that one is forbidden to go and join a group of people who are already actively engaged in speaking lashon hara about another person (even if he doesn’t intend to believe anything they say).
But what should a person do if he finds himself sitting among a group of people who have gathered for whatever reason but now start to speak forbidden words?
The Chafetz Chaim writes that the absolute best thing one can do in this situation is to rebuke those who are speaking lashon hara and to tell them that what they are doing is strictly forbidden by Torah law. As the Torah commands us in Leviticus 19:17: “… you shall rebuke your fellow…â€
Of course this course of action is not recommended if, in his estimation, the offenders will not listen to his rebuke at all. After all, as the Talmud in Yevamos 65b teaches us: Rabbi Ila’i said in the name of Rabbi Elazar ben Shimon: “Just as it is a mitzvah for a person to rebuke when he will be obeyed, so is it a mitzvah for him not to rebuke when he will not be obeyed.â€
The next best thing one can do is either to walk away from the group or to put one’s fingers in his ears (as per the directive of Rabbi Elazar in the Talmud in Kesubos 8a mentioned above) to avoid hearing any lashon hara.
However, if it is impossible for him to leave their company, and he feels that the solution of putting his fingers in his ears is too difficult because the group will ridicule him, then at the very least he should strengthen himself and stand firm at this trying time. He must wage the battle for G-d against his Yetzer Hara (“Evil Inclinationâ€) so that at least he will not stumble in the Torah prohibitions of hearing and believing lashon hara.
In such a situation, to save oneself from sin, one must be very careful to fulfill the following three conditions:
1) One must resolve definitively not to believe the derogatory information that the speakers are relating about other people.
2) One must not derive any pleasure from hearing their forbidden words.
3) One must control himself and not display to the speakers any gesture that would indicate that he approves of what is being spoken. Rather, he should remain still as a stone. If he is able to show them a stern face that will convey to them that he disapproves of their frivolous words, then that is certainly preferable.
A story is told about the Chafetz Chaim in his old age (some say that he died at the ripe old age of 105!) that when it became increasingly difficult for him to hear, a certain rabbi asked him why he doesn’t go to a doctor to improve his hearing. The Chafetz Chaim replied: The prohibition of lashon hara includes both speaking and hearing derogatory information. Speaking I am not so worried about, for the power of speech is ultimately in my control. What I hear, however, is not always in my control, and I sometimes have to resort to extreme measures – such as putting my fingers in my ears – so as to avoid hearing lashon hara. Therefore, it is actually better for me that I am hard of hearing, for few are those who will raise their voices just to make sure that others hear their lashon hara.
This story illustrates that the Chafetz Chaim actually applied the “strategy†of putting one’s fingers in his ears in real life when necessary to avoid hearing lashon hara.
Who knew that’s what fingers were for?
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